I know what you are thinking......"where have I been, and what happened at USAs". All I can say is this.....yes I looked freaking great in my prep for USAs. But let me tell you this, I made a good decision on not to do USAs. Trust me! Things do happen. I talked with world historian/photographer Bill Dobbins. I always like to hear his opinion as he is a very smart man and has been drilling my thick skull since I met him in 2003. He has taught me a lot of things about bodybuilding. I feel honored to call him my friend and have someone like that who knows and understand what us female bodybuilders go through. Anyway he has and always will inspire me through his wisdom. Plus just being around him and hearing the stories of back in the early days of the classic bodybuilders such as Frank Zane, Tom Platz and many others is just music to my ears. I admit I am a fan of the more classic bodybuilding going from Arnold's time up to the late 90s around the time of Dorian Yates, and Kim Chizevsky. Things have changed since then. Oh and I would love to watch the pose downs between Lenda Murray and Laura Creavalle.
To get back on topic, I tend to go on and on about this stuff. lol
Okay so I had a great time in Las Vegas. I stood at the New York New York. It was fun. Yes I did hit the slot a few times and won a total of *drumroll*......$49.00. LOL
Now I heard a lot of crap talked about me in regards to me going and seeing Vegas. What am I suppose to do ... lock myself up in my room and stare at the wall. I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!
I love to make the best of things. I don't think about the negative I think about the positive. Some people need to get out of the holes they live in and stop worrying & being unhappy. You need to live each day to the fullest, and set goals each day. For example, saying hi to a complete stranger or opening a door for someone. Little gestures like that can have such a positive impact on people. For every action is a reaction. SO I was positive and had fun.
Oh and yes I did eat. One of my favorite places was HASH HASH a go go. This place was heaven. The flapjacks/pancakes where the size of one of Branch Warrens legs. We all know he has got some wheels on him. I loved the food. My favorite was the french toast as I am a huge french toast fan. I did stop by Cheesecake Factory, as my fans know I love cheesecake. LOL
The best buffet I had was at the WYNN. It was expensive but well worth the money I'd say.
NOW TO GET TO WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY............
I want to apologize to my fans and and my friends. I know you guys wanted the best for me at USAs. You will find that I speak truly from my heart. So I want to say that it really truly touched my heart when I saw the amount of positive feedback I got from people on the boards about turning pro. I cryed alot of times prior to the show because I never knew so many people cared about me and thought so highly of me like that. On top of that I never have got so many calls and emails like I did the day of the show. SO many people where so worried about me and very sad. I am soooo sorry. I seriously promise and I do keep my promises that I will make it up to you.
I admit yes I do very badly want to be a pro and maybe someday a future Mrs. Olympia. Please don't find me cocky, its just that I feel in my heart I do have the genetics and structure to go all the way. I just need to cross that line and get the first step which is a pro card and take it from there.
Bodybuilding has grown a part of me. I am very passionate about it and also I can be very competitive, as you have to be in this sport to survive. I just go in the gym and train and give it my best I can. But I want to say that one main ingredient to bodybuilding success is having a strong mind. You can achieve so much. I have seen a lot of national competitors be so cocky and not give a crap about the fans, etc. I am sorry but that's not my style. A true Pro is all for the fans and lives the bodybuilding dream. A great example is Jay Cutler!
My dream is be a Pro and further my career in Bodybuilding. Yes there is drama and negative comments in regards to FBBs, and the sport in general. It doesn't bother me. I know what I can do and achieve in the sport if I focus and set my mind to it. I love this sport so much. I do it because its fun and challenging. Plus I love the fans. You are the ones that keep our sport going. I thank you for that. Please don't stop loving the sport regardless of the crap you hear.
I want to let you guys know that I need to make it up to You for USAs and I will. I promise. I have a plan in mind, not 100 % sure yet but we will see. Some already know what I am talking about. I have been upset a little bit because people think they know me. Well they don't know POOP POO. I am full of surprises. I am going to take things into my own hands and do my own thing as I know my body very well or else I would not have made such great gains over the years. Again not to be cocky. i am proud of what I have a achieved and what I am. Again you will find that even though I diet for shows I wont blow you off, as you guys help me and motivate me. I am sorry that it took me this long though to write a blog. I needed to think and map out some things.
I do have to say one thing. What comes around goes around. LOL This is a inside thing to me, but it amazes how the heavies where placed at USAs. Geez Where would I have fit. Honestly I was 145lbs 5 weeks out to USAs. SO I would have been a light heavy. A big one at that. A lot of people are trying to get me to do the Nationals in Dallas. Which would be more challenging. All I can say is bring it on. LOL. For me it would be a good show because I need to make up for 2004 Nationals where I was on another planet, weighed in at 170 lbs, placed 9th and and looked like well a blob. i can be so critical. You know this is what inspired me to do the North American Last year.
Well its just a thought. What do you guys think about Nationals. Yeah or Ney? Sorry for the long long novel. But I have had you guys on my mind. I love you guys so much for believing in me and putting me on such a high pedestal. And to you others that just don't understand and talk the drama you do. I am going to be wearing my hater blocker sunglasses. You can say what you want about me, but know this when I do a show and step on stage again I mean business. And trust me I will give my competitors a run for the money. I just hope that judges will like my shape and the package I bring. Personally between you and I. I don't care who is owed a pro card, I am not going down without a fight. Believe that!
Okay love you guys and I will be doing some videos of me training hardcore and also I am going to be doing cam again on herbicepscam.com and Ftwebcam.com
Love you have a great weekend
